This diary is not for you, it's for me. I'm not here for the community of lj. I'm here because when I know people will read my diary, it makes me write more cohesively, which helps me grow. I'm here because I have chosen to keep my diary in an online format, and I am too lazy to spend the money on a domain of my own.
If you don't like what you read here, too bad. I didn't write it for you. If you know me in real life, and you choose to read this diary - be careful. You may not like what you read. And I won't change it for you. It's MY diary.
There is a woman who once was a girl.
And she's pretty fricken cool.
Sometimes she forgets, though.
I'm a bitch. I make mistakes. I want to be right. I am a mother. I'm afraid to be a mother. I do not suffer fools gladly. I have been a fool. I like the smell of my own farts. I'm not good at burping. I only clean for company. I only shave for company. I'm in debt. I'm in love. I'm cute. I'm sexy. I'm fat. I'm a woman. I'm touchy. I'm moody. I'm strident. I'm too critical. Stay away from me. Don't leave me. I don't criticize loud enough. I'm judgemental. I don't let it go. My right knee is weak. My back hurts. I like sweets. I am sweet. I prefer quiet. I like dressing up. I don't dress up very often because I am lazy. I am creative. I write. My journal keeps my sanity. If I don't write it all stays in my head and I hear voices. TV is a nice drug, but useless. Being sick is all about staying home and watching trash tv and napping and eating poorly. I love to eat. I am obsessed with food. I want to live forever. I'm sensitive. Sad books make me sad. Music touches my soul. I'm an earth mother. I love water. My feet root into the ground. I have rhythm. I'm strong. I'm young. Sometimes I feel old. I get confused. I'm absent-minded. I'm a really good cook. I expect appreciation. I love the feeling of paint on my fingers. I like being tidy. I need lots of alone time. I'm afraid of dying alone. Beauty makes me calm. Love makes me happy. I refuse to be a hypocrite. I think it's all about the principle of the thing. I want the world. I understand. I care about you.